


Sometimes It's a Hellhole, But at Least It's Ours

by madziraphale



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Bad Jokes, Canon-Typical Violence, Enjoy!, Established Relationship, Explosives, Fluff, Hospitalization, Non-Binary Shepard, Non-binary character, Other, Post-Canon, Post-Mass Effect 3, Serious Injuries, bc she CAN, kaidan and shep really love each other, leave me alone, phil uses she/her pronouns in this one tho, sorry for all the tags, they're such nerds i can't help it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 14:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12213078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madziraphale/pseuds/madziraphale
Summary: After a long recovery for Phil Shepard after the final battle with the reaper forces, she's back in action, cleaning up the mess left behind in a still very shaken Milky Way. But, nothing can ever be simple for the first human Spectre, can it? At least Kaidan's there to make it better.





	Sometimes It's a Hellhole, But at Least It's Ours

“More pirates on your three! Behind those oil drums!” Garrus’s urgent voice was punctuated by the sound of two gunshots and a laugh of triumph from the turian. “Well…that’s two less pirates now. Get in there, Shepard!” Phil shot her thanks to her closest friend before bolting over a wrecked supply carrier, sending a biotic wave as she went. Two more pirates fell over, though Phil doubted she’d seen the last of them.

Off too Shepard’s left, series of tremors shook the ground, and she glanced over just as she dove behind a ruined street blockade. Kaidan had released a shockwave, sending a squad of batarian pirates flying in all directions. The major shot most of them before they even hit the ground.

“Sharp shooting out there, Major,” Phil drawled through her comms, watching as Kaidan’s posture visibly change from across the field. A smarmy smile crawled across the commander’s face. She simply lived for Kaidan’s reactions.

“Not too bad yourself, Commander,” Kaidan rumbled back, his voice warm enough that Shepard could hear the smile in it, “you know how much I enjoy your…maneuvers…on the battlefield.” Phil tried her best to contain herself, but she let out an embarrassingly squeaky giggle. The comms line was silent for a moment before Kaidan let out a laugh of his own. The two continued snickering to themselves before a shot nearly grazed Shepard’s left knee.

“Hate to interrupt you, lovebirds,” Garrus said, though his voice suggested the opposite, “but we’ve got you two on the ground for a reason involving all that heat you’re packing. Why don’t you use it?” Kaidan coughed uncomfortably, disguising another laugh. Phil rolled her eyes.

“Gotcha covered, Archangel. Those pirates’ll be gone before you can say all of Tali’s last names.” With that, Shepard fired a barrage of explosive rounds into the squad of pirates in front of her. She heard a few cries of pain and then silence, meaning her attack had likely taken most of the enemy down. Just to be on the safe side, she began to glow blue and charged straight into the mess of batarians. About six of them had fallen from previous wounds, the explosive rounds finishing them off. Shepard’s biotic charge had taken out two more and sent a third to his knees. With one sharp smack of her rifle’s butt to his head, the kneeling pirate fell down for good.

When he hit the ground, however, his limp hand fell open, and Shepard almost didn’t catch what rolled out before it was too late.

“Grenade! Clear the—” was all the commander got out before the little purple bomb exploded.

* * *

 

Kaidan hadn’t been very far away when he saw Shepard charge into the remnants of the batarian platoon, smiling as he watched her dispatch the enemy with ease. He took out two more pirates of his own before he heard Phil’s voice over the comms again, sucked dry of all its earlier humor. He froze in horror when the explosion sounded in the distance.

“Shepard! Shepard are you okay? Joker, Shepard’s down! Send the shuttle ASAP!” Garrus’s frantic voice didn’t even register to Kaidan as, shrouded in a biotic shield, he sprinted directly towards Phil. Bullets bounced pathetically off his barrier, and he sent a shockwave in their direction, stopping the waves of attack long enough for the major to reach his commander.

When he found her, Kaidan felt his breath catch. Phil had propped herself up against a barrier, a crack in her helmet and a hand clutching her side. The major felt the color leave his face, and he dropped to his knees in front of Shepard. He kept his shield up just in case.

“Phil? Oh God…Phil please answer me!” his voice was desperate, clutching at Shepard’s free hand, which lay in the dirt next to her. Shepard’s eyes fluttered open behind the glass of her helmet, and Kaidan felt his heart lift just a bit.

“What’s a pretty boy like you doing in a hellhole like this?” Phil’s voice was rough with pain, her face scrunched, but the smile and twinkle in her eyes remained. Kaidan barely managed to smile back, but he knew looking worried would only make it worse for Shepard.

“Hoping to find someone as good-looking as you who also has a thing for hellholes,” he responded. Phil barked out a laugh, though it clearly pained her to do so. Any traces of composure Kaidan may have had left him in a breath.

“Damn it, Phil! You’re not going anywhere, you hear me?” the desperation in his voice was palpable, “you survived the God damn Reaper invasion, were on the Citadel when it _exploded_ …you’re not letting a shitty pirate take you from me! Now, hold still.” Kaidan unclipped one of his packets of medi-gel from his belt, though he knew it would only be a very temporary fix. At least, he hoped, it would help stem the bleeding while they waited for help to arrive. While he occupied himself with tending to Shepard, his thoughts dragged him elsewhere.

Kaidan didn’t think he’d ever stop having nightmares about the day he lost Phil the first time, let alone the second. Shepard was _everything_ to him. He cared about her more than he ever thought he could care about another person. To have gone through all that only to lose Phil to something so simple would, quite honestly, kill him. When he had finished applying the medi-gel, he look back up to meet Shepard’s eyes, only to find that Phil was already looking at him, her crystal blue gaze still soft despite the haze of pain. She coughed harshly again, shaking her entire body, and Kaidan felt himself seize up in panic once more.

“Phil, honey, baby, sweetheart…” he trailed off, leaning his own helmeted forehead against his fiancée’s, “you have to stay awake, okay? Don’t close your eyes, no matter what. I’m not going anywhere, and you better not leave either, got it?” He heard Phil’s weak laugh, saw her smile through the screen of her helm. He tried to crack a smile, but it felt more like a grimace. He wanted to say he loved her, that it was going to be fine, that she would finally go to Earth to meet his parents, to show her the matching engagement rings he had bought for the two of them when they served together on the first Normandy.

He’d been about to let all of that spill out, but he never had the chance. He barely registered Shepard’s hand, moving faster than anyone in that condition’s hand had any right to, grabbing the pistol from her thigh holster and blasting a sizeable hole through the chest of a batarian who had tried to sneak up behind Kaidan. The now-limp pirate’s knife bounced out of his hand as he hit the ground. But, it also seemed that the effort of her quick draw had sapped Phil’s remaining energy, and with one last smile to Kaidan, she slumped into unconsciousness. 

“No, no, _no_!” Kaidan was yelling, he realized in the back of his mind, his hands gripping Phil’s shoulders, “Don’t you close your eyes, Philomena Shepard! You can’t…you…don’t go where I can’t follow…” the major trailed off, staring down desperately at Shepard’s limp form.

“Kaidan, shuttle’s headed to your position,” Joker’s voice barely pierced through the roaring in Kaidan’s ears as he stared down at the love of his life. He pulled Phil to his chest, clutching her tightly, safely, into his arms. He didn’t let go, even as he felt the rushing wind of the shuttle landing behind him.

* * *

 

The first thing Phil Shepard felt when she woke up was a widespread, dull ache that stemmed from her side. That wasn’t so startling, as Phil was used to waking up with more than a few cuts and bruises. What was different about this time in particular was that Shepard’s throat felt too dry and cracked to even voice a simple ‘ouch.’ The commander’s eyes flew open, a hand coming up to rub her throat, while the other tried to reach for her bedside table in the hopes of finding a glass of water. It took longer than it should have for Phil to realize she was in sickbay and not in her quarters.

“Phil? Hey, hey,” Kaidan’s voice came from Shepard’s left, his warm, calloused hand reaching up to grab Shepard’s flailing one, “It’s okay, hon, I’m here, I’m here. You’re safe now, you’re okay.” Kaidan’s words were soft as his touch, and Shepard felt her tension slowly fade away. When she had finally calmed enough, Kaidan poured her a glass of water from the pitcher on Phil’s bedside table. The commander chugged it eagerly, ignoring the flaring pain in her side with each of her movements. When she finished almost the entire pitcher, feeling a little more like she could really speak again, Phil looked back towards Kaidan, who was gazing at her like she put the stars in the sky.

“I get the whole ‘giant hole in my stomach’ thing because of the grenade,” Shepard rasped out, ignoring the abysmal sound of her own voice, “but why does my throat feel like Tuchanka in the summertime?” Kaidan’s smile widened in pure joy, contrasting with the terrifyingly dark bags under his eyes. That, mixed with the messiness of his hair and his _very_ noticeable stubble, Phil figured he hadn’t left that chair since she’d be brought in.

“You had a crack in your helmet,” he responded, his eyes never leaving Shepard’s, a thumb rubbing gently over the back of her hand, “you almost…almost suffocated. I’d say that’d be enough to take your breath away.” Kaidan wiggled his brows at his terrible joke, wearing a fond smile when Shepard snorted out a laugh. He brought her hand up to his lips to kiss each of her knuckles.

“What’s with all the special attention, sugar?” Phil smiled dopily at her fiancée, relishing in the familiar feeling of warmth she always felt with Kaidan, “Not that I’m complaining by any means.” She took hold of his hand, tugging him out of his chair and closer to her bed with as much strength as she could muster. He laughed a bit, his warm, brown eyes never leaving hers. When he stopped at the edge of her bed, Phil used whatever energy she had left to scoot to the other end, patting the empty space for Kaidan to sit. He looked about to protest, but, with a particularly sweet look from Shepard, he acquiesced. It took a bit of maneuvering, but Kaidan finally settled himself behind Phil, tucking her gently against him.

“You smell pretty rough, major,” Phil said after a quiet moment, “have you not showered since the mission? How long ago was that anyway?” Kaidan breathed a laugh, holding Shepard closer, pressing a nose into her hair and placing a kiss there.

“Just a day and a half. Nothing too bad.” Kaidan left out his own turmoil from their mission, preferring not to think of it as much as possible. If Shepard remembered it, she’d bring it up. And, in true Phil Shepard fashion, she did.

“Hey, you,” she tilted her head up to look at him, placing a kiss on the part of his jaw she could reach, “I’m not going anywhere. Not without you, not again. I promise.” The major didn’t meet her eyes, but held her even tighter.

“Ow, ow, still got a big ole hole in my side, sugar,” Phil said, and Kaidan let go of them quickly, mumbling an apology in a slightly tearful voice. Phil shook her head a bit. That simply wouldn’t do. No frowny Major Alenko’s on her watch. Ignoring the pain it caused her—much worse than the death-grip from Kaidan, Phil flipped herself to face him, settling gently on his hips. Kaidan quickly moved to scrub at his watery eyes, not meeting Shepard’s gaze.

“Listen here, handsome,” she said, her southern drawl deepening with the scratchiness of her voice, “there’s not gonna be any tears, you hear? Not while I’m here, anyway.” She placed a soft, light kiss to Kaidan’s lips. His cheeks lit up, and his hands moved automatically to wrap around Shepard’s waist.

“Especially not when we’ve got the sick-bay all to ourselves,” Phil grinned, catlike, blue eyes glinting with mischief. Kaidan felt them walk their fingers up his chest, the same hand crawling slowly into his hair. He barely contained himself, deciding to hold back let Shepard have her fun until he couldn’t handle it anymore.

He kissed her like she was oxygen, like it was the first and the last time he would ever get to kiss her. Her lips were soft, as always, despite being slightly chapped, and her hands in his hair felt like a lifeline, keeping him from floating away into bliss. All of the shit they’d been through together, all of the heartache, the loss, the reconciliations, and rebirth of their lives together…all of it was for moments like this. Moments for just the two of them, together and safe in each other’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey kiddos!
> 
> I'm back on my bullshit (but did I ever really leave?) With Phil and my never-ending love for Kaidan. I hope this adequately represented my deep love for these two wieners. If you liked this fic, let me know by leaving a comment or kudos! You're support is what keeps me going. Have a great one, and thank you so much for reading!
> 
> -Mads


End file.
